He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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