OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
