Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
