I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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