he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
