Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
