I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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