Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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