I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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