So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you never un-have a 4some
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
