I'm passing your future prison.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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