Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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