so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
