I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
