What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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