Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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