When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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