I'm jealous of your bromance
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
