no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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