the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
