How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've blown a few things in my day
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
