she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize