Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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