I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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