He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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