do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
