I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
