Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
