I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
