Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
