dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
