i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hippo gnu deer
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
