the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i think i just lost a toe
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
