I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
