In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The power of my boobs compel you
I touched a dick in church today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
