You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
