i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
