I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize
