He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
