He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
