you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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