I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Oh god it's open bar.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
