Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
