i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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