Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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