so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
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