Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
