i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
