my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
