Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
