Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
