god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she told me i tasted like america
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
