So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I need moral support for this bender
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
